The trip has now (gulp) drawn to a close, and I am feverishly unpacking, supervising kid play dates, and preparing for school, which starts in just a few days. But, before that, in the trip’s final hours, I interviewed the family about highs and lows. Below, find a slightly edited transcript, with occasional illustrations.
Favorite country:
David, Elliot, and Connor vote Japan. Connor explains: Japan was my favorite because the culture was so different but there were still all of the creature comforts we’re used to.
Nora: Indonesia – It was the perfect mix of interesting, physically challenging, relaxing, gorgeous, and soulful, AND I liked the food. Also, we had so many days in Indonesia that are my very favorite kind of days – where you wake up knowing EXACTLY what the day holds and you have to make zero decisions even though you don’t feel the slightest bit handled (i.e., “today we will travel down the river and look at orangutans, and you will eat what I put in front of you, and after the sun sets, you will sleep in that bed there”). Also, maybe this is no coincidence, but when we were in Indonesia, we were mostly off the grid with no internet or email access whatsoever. That, to me = Heaven. Beyond that, we all went about two weeks without ever putting on shoes. And, last but not least, Connor had a really triumphant SCUBA experience, where he had a blast, picked up a new skill, and got a powerful confidence boost, which may be helpful as he starts middle school this fall.
Biggest surprise
Nora: Traveling with kids is better than traveling sans kids. I say this because, as many know, David and I took a very similar around-the-world trip in 2003-2004, when we were newlyweds and I was between jobs while David was finishing his dissertation. (Then, we went to China, Fiji, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, South Africa, Cambodia, and New Zealand.) At the conclusion of that grand adventure, we vowed to have kids, then wait for them to grow up enough in order to be travel-ready, and, we further vowed that we’d get those readily available, super-flexible-but-still-lucrative-enough jobs, and then, with said children, travel around the world again. So, we did all that. And, I would have guessed that this trip would have been basically a redux of our 2003-2004 adventure — but with adjoining rooms and extra whining. Not so. It eclipsed that trip along nearly every dimension, including, even how much fun David and I had together. Cannot wait to see what our 2028 around-the-world trip holds (which, for the record, both boys promise they’ll join).
My second biggest surprise is that Elliot is some kind of genetically engineered travel ninja. David has of course blogged about this, but it bears emphasis: The kid is a travel wizard. He needs basically zero sleep; will eat anything, with relish; cares not a whit about clothing or personal hygiene (a liability at home but not on the road); is small enough to scoot through crowds or to the front of virtually every line; has a finely-tuned sense of direction; is strong as a freakin’ ox (I made him carry my backpack on the Annapurna trail, and even once he was weighted down with my belongings, the porters still had trouble keeping up with him); save for some nosebleeds, he never gets sick (even though one day, while I wasn’t paying attention, he drank from a Delhi water fountain(!)); he has a knack for breaking the tension with well-timed jokes and dance moves; he’s extremely curious and asks astute, probing questions of guides and others; and, last but not least, he is endlessly optimistic, able to put a positive spin on virtually every place and situation: “I love Waikiki! There are so many people!” He’s altogether groovy.
Elliot: My biggest surprise was waking up to a big earthquake in Gili Meno.
Connor: Yep, that earthquake was surprising! I was going to say: How well we solved problems as a family. For example, one day in Japan, all train service was suspended due to record flooding, and we had to travel anyway. We had a difficult day full of delays, but we handled it.
Or, in Italy, the bike trip was really challenging and nearly beyond our physical abilities. But, we didn’t give up, and we soldiered on.
Also, we took a ton of flights, and we never missed a single one, even when we didn’t have visas to visit Australia and cut it really close!
Worst moments:
David: Nettle face-plant while on the Annapurna trail: Extremely scary, extremely painful, extremely humiliating. Runner up worst moment goes to any of two-dozen vomiting sessions in India. I hadn’t thrown up in something like twenty years, and it was miserable.
Nora: Similar to Elliot’s surprising moment, just about 8 days ago in Gili Meno (tiny, gorgeous, but pancake flat island, right off the coast of Lombok), waking up to a large earthquake (6.4 on the Richter scale), rushing to the boys’ room and finding that Connor was calmly advising Elliot to stay under the comforter and to keep his head and neck covered by a pillow. Then, fearing a tsunami, telling both boys to put on running shoes and to fill up all our water bottles, as David and I exchanged few words as we matter-of-factly donned our running shoes and packed a backpack with the essentials (all our cash, Snicker’s bars, sunscreen, bug spray, and passports), while preparing to race to higher ground (not that there was any, as the island contained no hills, but we were RIGHT on the beach and running inland might have been helpful). This feels particularly raw right now, as, a few days ago, we woke up to a NY Times alert to another, larger earthquake, with the epicenter EXACTLY where we were. It’s a vivid reminder that life is a game of inches, and luck plays a deciding role.
Elliot: My worst moment was the bike ride in Delhi, India. Fortunately, mom pulled the plug for me when traffic whizzed by from every direction, my bike didn’t fit (I couldn’t reach the ground even on my tip toes), and we were biking by a slaughterhouse over large smears of blood, and then she biked right over a hypodermic needle. Mom and I just walked away from the bikes and went instead to the Delhi zoo, which was much better. (Here’s a picture taken before the wheels came off.)
Connor: My worst was seeing a truly endless flight of “stairs” after hiking straight up for 6 hours on the Annapurna trail. (Stairs in quotes because they weren’t really stairs, but rather crooked stones, each with a rise of 14 or 15 inches. And they really were so endless.) (Here’s a picture of Connor catching his breath.)
Runner up: Getting “a good talking to” at the Lagos Mare in Naxos, after Elliot and I were bickering way too much, and mom and dad had had enough. After that, we tried to clean up our acts, and I think we did.
Biggest regret:
David: In Nepal, there was an opportunity to take a helicopter to Everest Base Camp and then fly over Everest’s peak for something like $2000. We didn’t do it at the time, as the price seemed too steep. But I wish we had done it now.
Nora: Mine is also in Nepal, I think which is high on the regret list because I kind of hated it (can I say that?) and will never go back. But there was an opportunity to go on safari while riding an elephant. Now, that would have been super cool (safari on an elephant = a pony on your boat), and I wish we had carved out the extra two or three days to make it happen.
Connor: I was sick the day you guys went to the Acropolis so I missed it entirely. That’s a huge regret for me. Runner up regret: Not spending more time in Pompei. I wasn’t feeling great that day, so I don’t think I took it all in.
Elliot: Agreeing to go on the Delhi bike ride in the fist place. (See above.) (Eds.’ Note: Elliot REALLY hated that bike trip.)
Most transcendent moment:
Nora: Seeing the Taj Mahal. I was so ready to think, “Yep, nice. Looks like the picture of the Taj Mahal,” particularly since Agra, where the Taj Mahal is located, is no great shakes. But the Taj Mahal is not that at all. It just really truly takes your breath away.
David: I’ve written about this, but reading the final chapter of The Little History of the World aloud during our first night in Bali. From the Minoans to the Greeks to the Romans, to the Dark Ages and then the Renaissance and Enlightenment, to the building and toppling of Empires, to Pearl Harbor and concluding in Hiroshima, it knitted together so much we had learned and seen and underscored our trip’s breadth and scope.
Connor: First SCUBA dive in Gili Meno. I was transported to a whole new world.
Connor’s Runner up transcendent moment: Walking to town in Naxos, Greece with mom, where we picked our way along the sand from beach to beach for four or five miles and chatted the whole time. Runner, runner up: Seeing the Pieta in St. Peters.
Elliot: Our first day exploring Tokyo. It was so clean and packed with people and yet neat and orderly. I loved it!
Favorite place we stayed:
Connor: Taj Lake Palace in Udaipur, India. For some reason they put us in one of their grandest suites, and it just was palatial!
Nora: Heaven on the Planet in Lombok, Indonesia. To be sure, the place had a few minor hiccups: The air conditioning in our room didn’t work; we had an ant problem; there wasn’t hot water, and the cold water, which was really salty, came out in a dribble; the electrical system was spotty, such that David and I both got seriously shocked when we tried to plug in our phones; and there were monkeys everywhere, so you couldn’t leave the windows open, despite the lack of air conditioning. BUT still, even noticing those things makes me feel churlish – and it never once occurred to me to complain about them because, in the scheme of things, all that barely registered. The place was drop-dead gorgeous and miles off the grid; had free daily open-air massages; and was blessed with the most winning, happy, generous, and laid-back vibe to it of any place I’ve ever been. I mean, they even had a ping pong tournament, where everyone (guests and staff) cheerfully took part — and took the boys’ ridiculous taunts and over-the-top cheering in stride. Going forward, when I get stressed out and need to mentally escape, that’s the place I’ll picture.
David: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (yes, where the movie was filmed) nestled in a tiny village about 90 minutes outside of Udaipur, India. Even though that’s where I was really sick, that place, in all of its crumbling and faded glory, was majestic.
What are you proudest of?
Connor: My family. Dad has been working hard behind the scenes to make sure the situation at home works out. Elliot has been a trooper throughout the whole shebang. And mom was a dead weight, while I have been amazing. Just kidding. Mom has actually been the nurse of the family, and she has taken care of all of us.
David: We never lost steam, and we never took our great fortune and privilege for granted. We pressed right to the end. On our penultimate day traveling, Connor and I went scuba diving and then watched the Hollywood flick Pearl Harbor so we could get the most out of our Pearl Harbor visit the next day. Then, when we got there, we stayed for eight hours and explored every last nook and cranny of each ship and submarine. Or, during our twelve-hour layover in Sydney, in the midst of two back-to-back overnight flights — and in the middle of 48 hours straight of door-to-door travel — we opted to leave our day room to walk over the Harbour Bridge and see the Opera House. Now, that is a family that never gives up!
Nora: I’m most proud that, in the midst of our hectic, jam-packed, and altogether fulfilling lives, we did this at all. Between Little League and elementary school graduation and teaching and book projects and friends and family — there were so many reasons to stay put. But, we gathered the escape velocity and took this leap. Runner-up point of pride: We lived in the tropics for weeks, and nobody got the slightest bit sunburned! Maybe I’m a good nurse after all!
Elliot: I’m proudest that I learned a little bit of every single language, and I learned as much as I could about every country’s history. Also, during the trip, I think I grew up. I feel much older and more mature now, both physically and mentally.
What advice would you give to another family contemplating an around-the-world trip?
Elliot: Do the hardest countries first. That way, you visit them before you’re too burned out.
Connor: Go back and forth between countries that are total opposites: Nepal and then Greece, Japan and then Indonesia. You’ll never be bored, and you’ll always appreciate what’s in front of you.
David: Mine is similar to Connor’s but more micro: Toggle between high-brow and low-brow. It’s boring to stay only at fancy places, and it’s exhausting to stay only at roughing-it places. By going back and forth, you really appreciate both. (And, when you are at the luxury places, you can take advantage of the amenities, by, for example, catching up on e-mail, downloading movies, getting help sending boxes home, seeing a doctor, or doing laundry.)
David’s second piece of advice: Have folks join you at various points along the journey. We were so fortunate that Mary Martin joined us for a week in Italy and John Martin joined us for a week in Japan. Their energy, curiosity, smarts, and enthusiasm injected welcome life, energy, and humor into our adventure.
Nora: My advice is the simplest: Just go! A trip like this is like having a baby: There’s never a right time, and no one is going to send you an engraved invitation. But I promise you, if you just drop everything and do this, you will never regret it.
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I’ll end with this. During our layover on the way home in Sydney we heard a street performer sing this Cold Play tune, and suffice it to say, mama cried.
… So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life…
The trip is over, and we are now left with nothing but piles of dirty laundry, an empty and broken fridge, those cursed final malaria pills, a to-do list as long as your arm, and, of course, our photographs and memories.
But, trust me, the trip was everything we could have ever imagined. And it was much, much more than we deserve.
Fanatical Sabbatical 